i'm awake. i'm focused. i'm done fretting. done living in a bubble outside reality.

haven't blogged for awhile. hmmm. o levels ended a few days ago. went out with friends and fell sick the next day. again. and then stayed at home since then. my room's apparently in a mess still cause i'm not yet done arranging my books in order. make space for all the new books huh. mother actually scolded me for throwing out all my seconday school books, saying that i should keep them for another few months. she's trying to mean that i will retain in sec4 -.-" i haven't much enjoyed myself since exams ended. but i feel so free. too free actually. and it makes me uncomfortable, thinking i should be studying or something instead of stoning and watching grey's anatomy on repeats in my dvd player.

i'm really bored now. it's like suddenly i have all this time. and i'm not enjoying one bit of it. i hate change. i hate the change in people.