what's the matter with......
sometimes i don't know how to deal with all that.
really, i can't handle all these at once.

i don't know how i would be able to go through this period of time without the help of a few great people in my life.
i must think of something to show my appreciation to have them in my life.
i shall find time this holidays to do so.

i would type more but i shouldn't.
cause i still have 4 more papers to go.
and i'll continue after my last paper.
i just needed to pen down those few thoughts first.

i think it's better that i go back to my old self back when i was in year1.
i feel that i've grown into an utterly disappointing person over the months.

sigh.

patience, jolene, patience.

it's getting a little bit harder to juggle with school, work, friends and cca.
i have 7 days a week. (duh)
every week, 5 days of school with 3 day/night of work shifts.
my weekday can often stretch from 8.30am to 12.30am (of the next day).
reaching home and settling down at almost 2am, i would seem be too restless to do my homework (if there is any pending)
and there can be lessons to catch the next morning too.
npcc stuff is climbing to its peak now.
but i haven't been doing alot and contributing as much as i used to.
i also have a few other miscelleneous things that need commitment as well.
and lately, i've been depending on others to pick up my slack,
which i feel odd allowing that.

i'm not complaining.
just wanna describe my new found lifestyle in year3 of poly life.
but i gotta pick up my pace now.
i really should stop being lazy. really, i have been nothing but plain L-A-Z-Y.
seriously jolene, you should start to see through your priorities in life.
you set it, you show it.

finished watching survivor redemption island last night.
such a bittersweet finale.
i'm pretty affected to see how awesome friendships forged in the season had to end that way.
it's like... all those adventures in the island that have brought everyone together, would then gradually dissipate as the game comes to an end.
but i don't want it to end! )':
nevertheless, i'm so glad to see Boston Rob winning!!!
great respect for his gameplay that has stretched over an unbelievably time of almost 10 years already!
oh my, a decade.
anyway, pardon me for being so random but i just wanna say that
i so looove the couple Rob & Amber~


so anyway, more about my life.
i have been losing alot things in this period of my life.
you, laptop screen that cracked, file and organiser, itouch that took a dip in seawater, handphone.
and that's not all.
i guess i've lost my patience too.

i really should stop being so reckless.



random thoughts:

Thought #1
everyone has a story to tell.

Thought #2
we can't have it all. we can't always expect to get everything that we want.

Thought #3
when we gain something, we tend to lose something.

Thought #4
how can there be a hero when there's no villian?

Thought #5
the thing is, who wouldn't want to be the hero instead?

Thought #6
i should be more careful in life now.

Thought #7
i shall fade away, slowly now.

uh huh. yep.

so it's almost 4am and i shall hurry.
almost too often, we find ourselves fighting against time.
yes and sometimes, we do what we can to outrun so many.
no, it does not mean we should cheat- thinking you can get more time
by taking shortcuts all the time.

in just a moment, week3 of this semester would have been long gone.
and soon enough, we'll realize so much has passed us by.
things that may have stayed. and things that may have gone or faded.
i wished i had more time to grasp it all a little tighter.

this post shall be evidence of my insignificant thoughts that may simply be nothing but an oxymoron.

... and already, it's past 4 in the morning as i say goodnight.