HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE!

well, i'm wishing you'all in 2 hours advance
since i wont going online so tat often from next year onwards.
it's a mad rush throughout the year 2007 for all sec4s huh.

saddd.

spent new year's eve watching prison break with my brother.
he bought the whole of the first season. heh -.-"
then went shopping with mother.
bought stuff. including a mini mahjong set(:
and a set of blades. 50 cents for 10 sharp shiny blades(:
and a cordless phone. like finally? heh.

and guess wat people?
i'm gonna rush through my homework after watching the new year celebrations on teevee.
yay. rush rush rush. rush my life away!

new year resolution:
- be more diligent. no more failings! more As in my report book and o' level cert!
- spend less time on computer and teevee.
- spend more time with PEEPS and family(: and studies of course...
- eliminate and destroy all freaking liars and hypocrites!
no more playing the game of pretence.

The Page Cannot Be Displayed.

i need a sign. i want someone to tell me wat's wrong.
tell me my mistakes. tell me i'm paranoid.
because everything i do, i dont seem to be satisfied. with myself.
i need my optimism backkk.

i cant sleep. although i really have to catch up with my sleep.
haha. but then again. maybe i am already dreaming right at this moment.
yeah. faeezah, cynthia, yue ying and i were so sleepy today.
with everything moving in slow-mo.
like in some kind of blurry dream.
and we ourselves were in slow-mo -.-"

haha. bleah. i really dont know wat to blog already.
mel mel mel. i'm bored. where are euuu.

training today.
pitched up the shelter. rehearsed the skit.
video combined with fancy drill. for our very first time.
jacqueline ma'am and rachel ma'am came back. and i burned the wrong video -.-
went compass. crapped with yue ying, cynthia, atiqa and MY LOVE, faeezah(:

school's reopening.
sigh.

chirp chirp!
we all do love our bird. aint tat right people(:
for her thickskin.
for her lameness.
for her hardworkingness.
and for her retarded photo shots(:
cheer up yue ying!

hahas. but apparently, you never sms after the conference. humph.
took the test.
put my retainers on.
went many places.
yay. end of my life.
end of holidays. soon.

happy birthday twiny(:

i'm in no mood of doing my homework.
i'm in no mood of studying for the test the day after christmas.
i'm in no mood to be optimistic in everything.
i'm in no mood to blog.
i'm in no mood to please anybody.
i'm in no mood to sleep these recent nights.
i avoid all communications.
i stare at the computer screen throughout the night.
with everyone else fast asleep.
i'm only in a mood. to sleep in the day. while everyone else are wide awake.

tired of playing this game.
tired of being a failure.
tired of waiting for grey's anatomy season 3(:
tired of being used and dumped.

but thanks for your pillow yue ying(:
went for the sec1 registration thing today.
D.O.S
so bird ended up lending me her leg as my pillow.
so yeah. fell asleep in public for... a couple of hours?
i dont know. i was having crazy dreams. laughs.

no more braces!!!


bleah.

it's the release of N'level results today!!

good luck master((:
and to the rest of the people out there.

haha. i'm feeling nervous for iryani!!!
my life's depending on her now.
handphone's beside me. waiting for the results at 2pm.
hmmm...

it's because i didnt want to look back in the future
and say,
i was such a fool.
and how immature i could be.

because when i thought of the past,
i knew i was.

enjoy your holiday amanda!!!
take care of yourself lil twiny(:
and karin, i miss euuu. dreamt of you today you know.
laughs.
everyone's leaving me )):

GOOOD MORNING WORLD!

just came back with mother.
caught a 00:05 movie!
ERAGON(:
there's this midnight shopping at junction 8 today mah.
where shops open till 12mn. hmmm. lots of people.
then there was this redeem thingy.
cause we bought some stuff,
and we can apply for 1 midnight movie ticket, with one free!
woohoo.
went dining with relatives too.
i feel bloated ):

ps-ed with cynthia and yue ying earlier this afternoon.
hahas.
watched cinderella. mind you. it's not those romance-type of movie can.
but it aint tat scary either. it's sad. and a lil gross.
falalala.

the new jaychou mv's out.
all ten tracks of still fantasy.
and has the curse of the golden flower theme song inside too
wahahahaha.

i should get bathing now!!!

i ought to.
went to school today.
hated the noise.
turn out cursing and swearing.
sigh.
i just wanted everything to slow down.
not to hear blabbering stories without a pause in between at all.
it's irritating. people, i get easily irritated these days.
so slow down for me. i dont want to miss anything else.
it's too damn fast.

hung up the banner today.
decorated the noticeboard too.
painted the flag for the board as well.
re-did tat twice. and in the end. it still tore -.-
and it smerged. it didnt even look like the np crest can.
i dont like the flag myself. so how could anyone possibly say it's nice.
i have my doubts.
were the people actually trying to make me feel better?
well. thanks guys. i really appreciated it.
but i dont like myself either. so how could anyone possibly like this character of mine.

was looking through the pictures just now, as cynthia wanted them.
realised tat almost everything in my album has yue ying in them.
laughs. it was really funny. to see how much we've changed.
hurrhurr.
i know, for one thing, tat i didnt change for the better.



formal on the night of Pieces of Jade.

oh God damn it i love you
why did He take you away from me
cause i love you so...
i miss you so much baby i just can't go on baby
ohhhh oh.

i thought of the movie cast away.

and felt like me and tat guy had so much in common.

so cut out from the world.
so left out in an isolated island to rot.
and having an emotionless Wilson as company. yeah. it's the volleyball's name.
painted with a face.

so anyway. went bugis yesterday. to get my mp3 changed.
went kinokuniya after tat. wanted to buy tat book. if only i had a voucher too.
if only i was tat smart...
i'm really jealous of grace now! shhh. dont tell mummy...
then flew to compass after tat. mel, you neh wait for us!! roar.

finally got the receipt from wong yue ying today((:
went school to help out with banner.
me. cecilia. christabel. grace. adeline.
me did lots of painting okay! i'm such an artist(:
okay. adeline, grace, you better delete tat photo hor! roar.

grey's anatomy ended at 10 just now.
i'm waiting for the encore at 00:30 later.

enlightenment.

tried to take a nap just now.
and i jumped out of bed suddenly.

you know... tat free falling feeling.
like as if your bed has given way
and falling into some bottomless pit.
sigh. i can't get back to sleep now.
it must be tat nightmare.
i dont wanna sleep anymore.
it's scary ):

left out.
to die.
to rot.
to be forgotten.

yeah. sometimes, i think you're out to bullsheet me.
those words you'd always say were just crap to me.
i cant stand people 'whispering' sweet nothings.
who do you think i am.
lil girls who believe everything they hear?
the whole world's a fake.
not real.
a pack of lies.
an act of pretendence.

who really believes in television drama series.
hurrhurr.
so anyway. i'm gonna continue watching youtube now.
so long people! (:
because it's still the best way to escape reality.

this is all going so wrong.

this isn't real.
it's some kind of illusional distraction.

haha. is there such a thing as tat?!
i shall wonder... ... ...


woohoo. i cant sleep. still.

it's the tenth today!!


haha.

bored.

hmmm. went youtube-ing just now.
it's a great way to put these unimportant things running in your head aside.
hahas.

falalala. shall put up some photos to brighten up this freaking dull blog. laughs.
here's some pics of arteeqa teaching us how to do the actions for the song, Hurt.
hurrhurr...









us giving arteeqa the -.-" face.

boring...

boo.

nah. i'm not dead, my dear husband.
you must be disappointed to hear tat right. haha.

have been watching videos late into the night again.
forced myself to take some rest at 4am this morning.
just to save some energy to play badminton later on today.
see. honoured anot. laughs.

bought an addidas jacket by the way.
yep. i'm happy(: thanks yue ying!!
hmmm. so,
had sports day with my sporty lil friends, cynthia, yue ying and grace today.
had a great game.
although. i didnt have a racket myself. and NeItHeR do i rock at this sport.

dum dee dum dum.
gonna watch more videos now.
bye people!!
maybe i was just trying to escape.
away from this sheet hole called reality.
maybe i didnt really want to face the fact tat.
i have not much to accomplish in my life.
not now. not anymore.

so fun! hahas.
i love youtube-ing! ((:
heh.
grace just went offline.
meeting her in lalaland soon.
yay. i'm done with today's post(:


for the fear of the lies.
and the hurt.
how much do you mean the words you'd say.
i'd rather chicken out.

homework's piling on my bed.


just entered moodle.
eeek.

more homework i realised -.-"


more books to fill up my lil bed!
woo hoo.


grey's anatomy later((:

just finished watching love in transition!
laughs. bought the cd... for some entertainment. ha.
besides, i think it was damn good can(:
and it brought back some nice memories.
went for their 2nd production at jubliee hall this evening.
i think pieces of jade was not bad.

hmmm.
met up with grace for brrunch.
played percussion while waiting for kongrui.
i think i stink at it can. haha. grace is still the pro-est -.-"
then trained down to CITY HALL to continue waiting.
hmmm...
when the production's over. walked a little while before i had to rush home.
grace sat with me to amk station. heh(:
still, i missed karin ):
sigh.
anyway, i think i've crapped enough for today.
yay. i love centrestage all rights. i think they did a great job(:


if it is the past tat you want to be like again
then so be it. no one's stopping you.
no. not even the rain.
just tat... it's all gonna turn out...
to be the exact same.


i found out.

i'm hungry. i havent eaten since lunch yesterday. (except for the ice cream. i just... felt like eating... )
who's gonna lunch with me today ): but then. i feel so bloated still.
humph.
i have clothings but i dont know wat to wear.
wahahahahahahaa.
i do have awful fashion taste. i realised):
sold the two extra tickets already! yay. i've done master proud(:
and yes. grace and kongrui will be honoured to have me escorting them to the theatre later. along with yue ying, amanda and cynthia(:
woohoo. pieces of jade!!!
hmmm.
post post post(:
yeah. it must be jie ying's disease tat she passed to me (:
mwahahaha.


bored.

oh look! 4th entry of the day!

haha. you know wat. i dont think i can go tomorrow's play already. i'm having gastric flu -.-" stupid. maybe i have to sell my ticket as well. along with the other two extra tat iryani have. hmmm. anyone wants? two $25 seats and 1 $20 seat. yeah. besides no one would even notice my absence tomorrow. yay. i feel awful. but who cares. hwalalala.

brother gave me a ride in his new motorbike early this afternoon. hmmm. it was kinda scary. never thought tat it was so tat dangerous. the balancing of the bike and the cars tat zoom past us. i mean. afterall. i dont even know how to ride a bicycle can. hahas.

thanks for telling me tat. in such a friendly tone ^.^
i. believe. you! woohoo.

i wanna thank you for trying to cheer me up all these while.
but. i do not even understand myself either.
and i think you have more than enough problems to handle.
so dont get angry!!! cause meimei sad ))):
chou chou can be mei mei for today okay!
and the day after. and the day after after!
chouchou loves meimei!


hmmm.
went to lunch with grace today.
had a really advanced christmas gift exchange. lol.
i'm sure grace likes her surprise. she screamed in such excitement(:
so anyway. spiky was being bored while she was away in holidays a few weeks ago. haha.


spiky feeling lonely.


spiky feeling frustrated.


spiky can't sleep. at 2.25am.


this was taken today. thanks grace(: wahahah. and i realised tat the time's almost the same as the one taken few weeks back. just tat this was in the day -.-"

i realised tat!!!!
wahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
wat a great discovery!!!
HMMM.







clueless on wat i'm trying to say?
well. tat's because i'm used to talking to the wall.

i dont mind. keeping everything to myself.
even though husband say it's no good for health.
no one
will hear from me again
WOOHOO!

now doesnt tat solve the matter. haha.
anyway. thanks husband. for consoling me this time round -.-"
till like... 2.30 in the morning? i'm touched lah. hahas. be honoured!
you know wat. i'm still bored. just... bored. sigh.
and i still think tat confiding in people never help in anything.
it DOESNT make people feel better.




falalala. i'm just trying to post something.
this blog's too depressing!
i need to post post post!
dont they have a postman to do tat?
stamps too?
hiya. i dont know wat the hell i'm trying to post here man. LOL.

the next song i'm gonna put.
will be christmas carols or something already.
WAHAHHAA.
i love this season.
even though it's not snowing.
rain's good enough(:


i feel so hyper. i need to channel off this energy to somewhere else.

MWAHAHAHAS.
i'm mojojojo!
and i love crapping!!
anyone wanna crap with me?

okok. i know i was mean. but i was really irritated when i read some stuff.
hwalalala.

i'm sorry. i will not take things for granted again.
i know you put in a lot of effort. i know you're frustrated.
but. tat's the problem. i dont know how i can confide in you.

your wants. and your needs.
everyone wants to be understood.
but i dont need anyone to understand.

yay. lucky somebody ask me to do survey. cause i'm really bored(: wahahaha.


1. song playing at the moment?
i belong to me.

2. reasons for living?
actually. i live for the sick of living.

3. do you think you're ok?
hmmm. let me think tat through...

4. ever donated blood?
nah. underage.

5. fav. colours?
black. green.

6. accessories you usually wear?
do look like i even have -.-

7. one song to describe a heartbreak in the past.
it's all about you.

8. last place you went to?
school. nono. compasspoint. after sec1camp meeting.

9. last person you went out with?
faeezah. her first time to compass(:

10. the most exciting sport?
thinking... still thinking...

11. ever had a baby?
let's see. YEAH. rights. like in a decade's time.

12. movie you wanna watch?
HAPPY FEET(: and cinderella (requested by cynthia -.-")

13. any piercing?
a few. in both ears.

14. the most romantic gift?
none.

15. act on stage before?
yeah. hahas.

16. struck by lightning before?
i wish.

17. danced with your loved ones before?
if i can dance...

18. ever wished you could turn back time?
yeah. to take back wat i've said in the past.

19. What would you do if you woke up one day to find yourself to be with someone from the opposite sex?
continue to sleep. said by cynthia.

20. one song that's meanignful to you?
many many.

21. missing whoever now?
nope. i'm not missing you(:

22. what will you be doing tomorrow?
outing with peeps?

23. ever thought of robbing a bank?
never. hahas. justice prevails(:

24. one thing you really regret doing or have done?
falling into the stupid trap...

25. do people like you?
i'm an ass. who'd like me in the first place.

26. What was the last game you played on the computer?
neopets. i cant seemed to get into the final level ):

27. someone who means a lot to you at the moment?
hmmm. equality is important!

28. the colour of your bed?
green(:

29. do you hate someone at the moment?
dislike is the furthest tat can get.

30. what do you wish to happen now?
homework isH cancelled!

31. last time you ate pizza?
wow... haha. really long time ago.

32. Ever been given a ring?
nah.

33. do people think you're weird?
well. i think i'm weird(:

34. movies now showing that you hate?
none.

35. most important thing in your room?
handphone. mp3. computer. bed (to cynthia). my soft toy collection given by friends.

36. last movie watched?
step up.

37. last television show watched?
does youtube count?

38. who is the person you want to see right now?
no one.

39. ever called a person useless?
yeah. myself.

40. are you good at hiding your feelings?
no (said by cynthia)

41. where did you take your friendster default pic?
camera???

42. what exactly are you wearing right now?
t-shirt and pe shorts.

43. what is your current problem?
maths -.-"

44. what makes you most happy?
being out with friends.

45. has anyone close to you died recently?
does my pet count?

46. do you ever watch mtv?
i cant miss it for the world.

47. what is something tt really annoys you?
self centered people. backstabbing liars. dumb. ha.

5 ppl to do this:
ghost(:
ghost(:
ghost(:
ghost(:
ghost(:

boring life huh. suppose to sleep. hwalala. eyes' as wide as the owl though... sigh.


life's about learning. and there's always a first in everything we do.

here are some of my friends' first times, with me to witness(:

` yue ying's first: rescue people from suicidal attempts
` amanda's first: nerdy boyfriend. haha. nah. tat was a joke
` karin's first: she dont have her FIRST yet. shhh...
` cynthia's first: cutting of her birthday cake. picked by me and karin. hahas.
` melissa's first: first kiss. gone to a dummy. i still got tat picture!
` faeezah's first: TO GO COMPASS POINT. lol.
` arteeqa's first: to be tested in footdrill tests.
` jieying's first: to be loved by me!
` cecilia's first: timer of our squad.
` grace's first: to befriend her first senior. hmmm. okay. 2nd perhaps... laughs.
` carmen's first: to be my missionary(:


sometimes, it makes me feel so honoured and proud to witness their firsts. laughs. goodness. i ought to be sleeping. hwalala. nights world.

my three lil cousins at bintan resort.

hahaha. reminds me of cynthia's daily bio revision. hmmm.
dum dee dum dum.


bored.

incredible, isn't it.

for a person to be living near ang mo kio secondary, 10th floor. and hear ncc campers singing campfire song -.-"

and i wonder wat it would be like. for the campfire next year. laughs.

hands and toes freezing now man.
raining season.
took a nap. dreamt tat the two orientatition training this december... was pouring. and i cried?!?! odd dream. but i really need it to be fine weather okay! if it weren't for o levels tat time, if it weren't for the noise caused by pegging, we would have perfected the shelter design. and we wouldnt be panic-ing and all. and the shelter wouldnt have turn out to be disaster during dry run tat time. tsk. i dont like rainy days ):

but then again, sometimes, i do like to walk in the rain.
hmmm.

hmmm...



Publish Post.

you gotta be kidding.


not responding. TWICE.


okay okay. this is so f**cked up. i dont even have so much time to spare.

oh FREAK.

every changes i made were deleted. i've had it. this is stupid. i'm sick of video editting. it's such a simple task. miss teh didnt even bother taking a good second look at it. i dont even get wat dumb training or courses. so why the hell people are expecting so much from this. i'm sorry. but i'm annoyed. really irritated. hell with my attitude. i'm tired of being tired.

watsoever.
i want to sleep.
YOU, YoU, yOu = different people. for whoever who wants to know tat.

i'm...


bored.

not going out today. gotta finish up 3 major task(to me). one for miss ong. one for miss teh. one for meeting. hmmm. busy vvvvoman here. wheeeee.

resort-ed at bintan last weekend. boring. cousin and i were busy crapping. bintan resort has no difference from the chalet back here in singapore. swam in the pool. i was the only one who purposely forget to bring my swimming costume. er. so i wore shirt and shorts to swim. laughs. played mahjong with the pro ah gong. ah ma. aunts. uncles. mother. cousin. lost almost everything in the first night. but i won back all the money by the second day. haha. then played poker cards too. still, i didnt want to go overseas. cause i needed to finish up my homework and stuff. i miss peeps here too. i wonder if they do too. and i couldnt concentrate studying there with all the lil kiddos running and screaming around. sigh.

mtv's pop inc. just ended. i felt tat "waiting on the world to change" has such a nice lyrics. laughs.
everyone wants to understood.

i'm sorry. i really didn't have the mood to talk to YOU these days.
wheeeeeeeeee.
i'm sorry. i dont wanna see YoU. tat's two very different world. very.
i'm hyper.
i'm sorry. for watever thing tat has upset yOu . maybe yOu dont wish to see me.
hmmm...
we have every rights to know why people's mad at us.
i'm really really bored...
but when we realise tat the reason's too illogical to accept,
shall go le.
we chose to deny everything. and to give up wishing tat things could ever be like how it was in the past.
busy woman signing off.
YOU. YoU. yOu.

karin: I MISS YOU!! you're worth every penny there is in this world.


slept till today morning. with my pt kit -.-"


going off tomorrow. haha. i'll miss carmen's late night crapping you know. laughs. and guess wat. i've to bring all those amaths homework along with me to the chalet. miss ong went chasing after me yesterday. because me and lijun were accompanying peisi to look for her because of some postcards?!?! ha. wat the... never mind.

enjoyed bowling with people today. although it all went down the drain. errrr. can i laugh. HAHA. stupid -.-" some person can tyco (i dont know how to spell) so many times somemore. humph... off to pack my bag now. amaths 5 year series... calculator... foolscap. alot of liquid paper... sigh.

GOODBYE SINGAPORE(:

(:

gonna be 3am already. WAHAHAHA. and i'm really high now. my hands are still cold. hmmm. talking to carmen once again(:

zZz.
it's late. but guess wat. i'm not gonna sleep. until i finish the photos and video extraction. i'm just afraid of... miss teh. you know her standard. you know mine. how is this presentation going to impress her )):

YESTERDAY, had field cooking meeting. had total defence-gold meeting. had police coast guard visit. watched step up with cynthia, yue ying, cecilia, kong rui and juliana. and from then on, i had my eyes totally glued to this computer screen.

TODAY, amanda and yue ying will be coming to my house. and they're going to help me with the video ACT. laughs.
you know wat i'm most afraid of? i fear most of rejections. i've got a bad feeling on this production. i doubt miss teh, mr pang nor christabel would like it ): i'm sorry, but my brain's dry. and i'm a I person. i'm a "Let's work together" person. my mind aint gonna start working with nobody around to discuss with me. humph.
by the way, i think the song's a little... HAHAS.
but wat can we do? it must be all english........ roar.
hope miss teh wouldnt mind the song still. cause i'm already attached to it(:

cynthia dedicated a post for me last time. and i shall give her one now (((:

I LOVE CYNTHIA MUCH MUCH MUCH.
i shall give her a ROASTED CHICKEN DRUMSTICK on tomorrow's field cooking try-out.
YUM YUM(:

should be honoured all rights. especially when miss ong's going to help us with the marinating.
laughs.

o level just ended for our seniors.

and, after my o levels,
i wanna learn drumming.
i wanna spend quality time with my friends and family.
i wanna go CI course.
i wanna be mentally prepared for the worst (O level results)
i wanna do charity.
i wanna learn how to play this song; missing you on the piano and on the drum.


laughs.
i'm bored... ... ...

2nd class footdrill test today ))))):

my basic drills were horrendous): felt giddy after hentak khaki-ing for like... so so so long. i know atiqa was panting. and her timing got softer and softer too. i felt bad. for not taking over. but i didnt even have tat much stamina either after the first few parts. eh. i'm proud to be her assistant okay! SHE'S SO PRO!!

anyway, mr pang and yi ying ma'am said tat everyone passed. but some were border line. i know it's me -.-" made the most mistakes. i know i wasn't putting in my best effort to execute our I/C's commands. me the last three I/Cs to command. hmmm. was average. blah blah blah.

tired. went punggol end with bernice and melissa after lunching at compass. bumped into cynthia and joey lau. watched movie at cynthia's house. bus-ed home after tat. and now. i'm sleepy. afterall, i slept at 3am today just to finish up polishing my boots and badges just for a few hours of drilling.


sigh. didnt send karin off. yue ying sms-ed me and i felt a sense of guilt not to send mummy off): hmmm. karin and grace must have reached hongkong by now. missed them all so so much. ah wells. i shall sleep now. nights.

finished PK course and the homefront security badge test.

everyone was feeling restless throughout the day. but we had some fun activities. did cheer competitions with other areas. area 7 was soft compared to the other areas.

on the way out of HTA, we were QUEUING up at the bus stop. can you believe it or not. toopid. and other schools get to go back with their Teacher officers in a so-not-squeezed-up chartered bus. oh ya!! and WE SAW MISS JOANNA LEE in FULL UNIFORM!! she looks pretty(: wahahaha. caught her marching off with her squad. haha. i didnt know they have to do tat for TO course -.-"

ate dinner with squadmates and yeah. hugged karin before she left. 4 people i know going overseas tomorrow))): and i'm supposed to be going to some chalet at bintan too. but mother said she postponed it to next week. which means, footdrill test for me is now on tomorrow. and i'm too tired to polish both badges and boots. blah. nor arrange them... and iron my blouse... and i'm meeting faeezah earlier too, to practice a little before the test.
i was waiting for somebody to talk to me on msn... i just needed some company. tat's all.

bored.
bored = sad.
i'm bored. = i'm sad.
after stoning in front of the computer for an awful straight hour, i finally found the reason behind why i wasnt sleeping.

it's because...




i was waiting.


waiting for wat? ha. well actually, i dont know. everyone's waiting for something i guess. from the time your bus' gonna arrive to the day the world comes to an end. hmmm. it's time. time to give up waiting. because... there's 2 test tomorrow awaiting. i'm just going to rush through those papers, like how i'd rush through everything else, like wat i'd done to my life.

drift drift drift. farther and farther apart we'd go.
and soon you wouldnt even notice my absence at all...
*gives out a sinister laughter*

tired...

i realised tat i sort of forgot to thank melissa's dad for taking me to HTA early in the morning. i was feeling a little embarrassed when we were in the car so it sort of slipped off my mind. thanks mel and mel's dad!

PK course wasn't FUN ): ma'am said it was damn nice last year. but lecture today was DRY. people were falling asleep. and i hate it when we have to wear full u, with the skirt always irritating me -.-" and we have to make our way there ourselves when others get to go to and fro by a chartered bus. roar. yeah. we're independent okay!

hwalalala. big bird and daddy angry!! ahhh. how can. i GUCCI you then you know(: gonna see you guys at the mrt station first thing tomorrow. awww(:

melissa's great dad's going to bring us to HTA tomorrow. yay. and you know wat? i havent even iron my full u. it's not tat i'm lazy. i'm just... hmmm. wait. why should i even bother wasting precious time to type? rights. off to pack my stuff for PK COURSE(:
taken for granted. Y took X for granted. Z takes Y for granted. XYZ take things for granted. now when will we people learn not to take things for granted?!

you know wat?
i've always wanted to speak wat's on my mind. but no one's even listening so why bother.
i'm gonna buy a tub of ice cream all for myself...

by the way, the act cool photos will be out, after sec1 orientation. because later the video not nice then how. hai. but dont worry, you guys look cute. awww. because i'm the camera man mah. wahahahas. no lah. joking -.-

PART I

one fine day, bb was walking down the street


when suddenly! she saw...


mjjj!!


mjjj decided to propose to her with a GREAT BIG GREEN BANANA.


but bb felt confused, really really confused.


she pushed her away.


but mjjj was persistant.


and finally, bb accepted her.


and they decided to eat the GREAT BIG GREEN BANANA(:
p.s. the banana looks sick -.-"


THE END.

next part, next time(:

packing my bag now. i'm not yet done with amaths): nor started polishing my oh-so-melted-boots. i'm not prepared to hand in my homework by wednesday. and i'm definitely not ready for PK course. let alone 2nd class footdrill test. ahhhh. shall rush through all of tat once camp is over.


gone for eat.sleep.play. CAMP
13/11/06 - 14/11/06
karin's house.

anything just ring my phone(:
on for 24/7.

this song reminded me of... hmmm.
you will never be replaced.

doing amaths homework later. such a bore -.-" plus, laundry. and a little emaths too.

MONDAY
0800 - 1000: Amaths lesson. zZz.
1000- 1230: NP store notice board
1230 - 1300: shopping for snacks
1300 - 1330: reach karin's house & settling of stuff
1330 - 0030: STAYOVER ACTIVITIES(:
TUESDAY
0130 - 0630: sleep!
0630 - 0730: wash-up / fighting for toilet
0730 - 0800: reach school
0800 - 1000: Amaths lesson. zZz.
1000 - 1200: no plans yet.
1200 - 1300: preparation for training
1300 - 1800: sec1 orientation training
1800 - 1930: dining with usual peeps

activities:
- mahjong
- play card games / board games
- bury ourselves in the GREAT BIG bed
- bathe
- get triple chins like yue ying(: by eating all the junk foods in the world
- movie marathon!!
- doing the video effects with karin's computer tat programme. sigh.

things to bring:
- 'pyjamas'
- school uniform for amaths lesson
- books for amaths lesson
- pt kit
- me: video cam -.-"

dear blog,

bird sms-ed me yesterday saying that she has footdrill till twelve plus, so therefore i had to push back the time for meeting master iryani. and of all time, miss ong had to be on the same bus as me -.-" bus-ed to ryan house bus stop. took the authorisation letter from birdie yue ying before heading to compasspoint.

bought mac student meal. picnic in the bus. alighted at the wrong stop. it was RAINING AND REALLY WINDY. walked in the rain. to bugis where i saw bernice. me and ryan were so freezing tat we took 5 seconds to recognise her!! lol. anyhow take another bus to raffles the plaza.

the staff was looking at both of us dripping towards the lobby -.-" went up to find tat yue ying's name wasn't even on the list. HMMM... how annoying -.-" so headed to city hall and trained back to seng kang.

at school,
helped a little in preparing the bbq. left soon after i gave yue ying back her ez-link card.
if it doesn't pay to be a good samaritan, then join them in their cruel acts.

so much to say, but i choose not to do so.
vented my anger by cursing and swearing for the whole of today. laughs. thanks master, for listening to my crap throughout the journey.


and to :)karin, thank you
- for entertaining me on last thursday night
- for being there for during the previous training when i was down.
- and the week before, at rivervale mall, accompanying me when everyone didn't seemed to be there nor care.
- for being there for me in perth.
- for doing tat split during cheerleading competition.
- for being there for me in trainings.
- for being there to lend me clothings.
- and for feeding me and yue ying.
- for symbolising the FLAT tile when mahjong-ing
- for screaming and cheering
- for "doing-tat-thing-in-the-shelter" during campcraft competition.
- for dining with us.
- for being late all the time.
- for being such a good host whenever we come your house.
- for contributing to the squad for both our NCO shirts.
- for being the best mummy of emo atiqa and me, twiny manda, and the best husband of daddy cynthia.
- and for being a true friend to us.

sentosa-ed. had the luge ride again(:
and i miss cynthia banging into the wall.
and i miss yue ying screaming while sitting the skyride.

tanned for 15 mins before it started to rain -.-" so me, karin, amanda, adeline lau walked to the toilet in the rain. hahas.

movied at vivo city. i was cold. me and adel lau never bring jacket lah. humph. my damn fever is back. freak. anyway, went shopping with karin after tat. fascinating!!!

wondering wat is bird, queen, jie ying and atiqa doing now at the NCO camp. humph. they all never reply me lah. >.<

iryani's going out with me tomorrow! yay(: missionary misses master loads!!

now i understand wat you mean, yue ying. tat one could actually be so angry tat their hands start shivering. guess wat. i'll see you on saturday then -.-" and i wanna hug from emotional mate all rights(: sigh.

i've pretended to know nothing of all these for the past 3 months already. but you just can't stop being mean, can you? one more time, and i'm not going walk off this time round without even eating my meal properly, but i'll just do it. i'll do wat i was supposed to do a loong time ago. then i can finally eat my food feeling contented, instead of sitting at the stairs, trying to cool down with all of your *****ing behind me and my friends' back.

i love ANNE lots. doesn't she look gorgeous?! haha.


wahahas. I LOVE MY BIRDIE AND CRABBIE LOADS(:

i realised i didn't update about my life last week at all. i know people would say, why should i care about this dumb girl's life rights. ha.

monday: i forgot
tuesday: sec1 orientation training - campcraft
wednesday: i forgot again. lol.
thursday: sec1 orientation training - video
friday: sec1 orientation training - campcraft
saturday: 2nd class footdrill training
sunday: lunching with grace and grocery with mother.

hmmm. 2nd week of holidays already. let's see. i wont be blogging this week. ha. so i'll just type out the whole week's schedule today.

monday: first aid course
tuesday: first aid course
wednesday: first aid course
thursday: sec1 orientation training - campcraft & video
friday: out with peeps
saturday: out with peeps
sunday: shopping with mother

first aid course today was disgusting by the way. and tiring, having to sit there from 9am - 6pm. with some breaks along the way. ah wells. two more days to go!

pig and bird requested this to be done. awww(:
i'm so high now. hahas.


1. do you have anyone's friendster password?
nope.

2. do you think your love life right now will last long?
it never did started. and it never will.

3. are you an emo person?
hahaha.

4. if you had one last breath to say something to someone you love, what would you say?
i'm sorry.

5. do you believe in love at first sight?
never. tat's stupid.

6. ever felt jealous of your friend?
yeah. results. hai.

7.what was the last thing you did?
stone.

8. who is right next to you?
spiky.

9. who was the last person you ate with?
mel, bernice, atiqa, yue ying, bel and grace(gummies)

10. how many times was your page been view?
clueless.

11. how's the weather right now?
fine. with clear skies. i like the night breeze. hmmm.

12. last person you called today?
father.

13. last person who called you?
father -.-"

14. last song you sang?
my blog song.

15. last time you danced?
i CANT dance):

16. lost a friendship over something stupid?
lost? yeah. but i'm the one who's stupid.

17. smoke?
no.

18. dumped someone before?
no, wat a dumb question

19. been really depressed before?
it's more surprising not to be ever depressed before. hmmm.

20. faked being sick to miss school?
no. i dont have to.

21. what time did you wake up today?
06:30

22. current taste?
huh?

23. do you like the person who send you this?
grace? duh. she's my xiaomei(:
yue ying? awww. definitely(:

24. what are you wearing right now?
tee with shorts

25. are you too shy to ask anyone out?
i'd rather stay at home. lol.

26. what is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
the way they present themselves.

27. where are you now?
bedroom.

28. what date is it?
monday, 6th november 2006

29. last person who texted you?
karin

30. did you go somewhere yesterday?

yeah. NTUC. i love to replenish my junk food stock(:

people who must do this:
NO ONE. haha. i'm kind can(:

eh. my saturday's entry disappeared into thin air!!!
oh no. tat's freaky -.-"

it seems like people enjoy tagging themselves as anonymous.
ah wells. i dont bother.
although i kind of know who the "unknowns" are.
sigh. sad.
i do not want anything.

to the people who tag my board so graciously,
thanks for tagging.

hai.

today, training.

blah blah blah.

hmmm.
thanks bird, for the letter. it's too sweet. i'll die of diabetes sooner or later. and also for the fillet-o-fish. for i might get fat, thus dying from stroke. oh no. you're planning how to assasinate me rights. boo):

yay. done(:

and cynthia. I'LL BE YOUR TOOTH FAIRY. *waves my wand*
TWINK!
i shouldn't have carried on.
and karin. get well soon. your daughters miss you much much!

NUMBER ONE.
YOU DIDN'T STATE TAT WORD.

NUMBER TWO.
LET ME SUGGEST TO YOU PEOPLE SOMETHING. READ MY BLOG. IT'S COMPULSARY.

NUMBER THREE.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE BLAME ALL. EVERYTHING. COMPLETELY. TO ME. YOU FUGLY ASS. AND PEOPLE SAID 12.45 CAN. SO IT BECOMES MY FAULT TAT NO ONE PASS DOWN THE MESSAGE TO ME AGAIN. RIGHTS. AND YOU. WERE THE ONE WHO SUGGESTED TO HAVE BREAKFAST AT THE CANTEEN. WHY IS IT TAT I MUST BEAR EVERYTHING.

karin, if you're quiting, i'm quiting as well.

i'm losing it.
cut my hair with grace today.
it's okay. i'll count to 20 instead.
whoa.
i can control my temper. you can't make me.
like finally, after more than a month.
do you know how it feels.
haha.
to find tat you were jumping to conclusions faster than the blink of my eye.
to find tat i no longer have any trust in you, and you already lost trust in me way before tat.
to find tat you were bad-mouthing YOURSELF.
to find tat to please one, we must disappoint the other.
to find tat everyone's leaving you soon enough.
to find tat it sucks just so much to be EMO; to always stand there at one corner wishing all of the problems would just disappear.
sure. it feels like shyte. tat's how it feels.

count to ten...
and all the problems in the world would just disappear!

counting...

group 1 crimson camp 2006 rocks all rights!

it wasn't as fun as other camps we went though. and the worse was MEAL TIME always. i thought atc was bad enough -.-"

problem: no can-opener
solution: rub against the tarred road till it split open?

problem: no mess tins
solution: use the dirty cans tat we opened

problem: no stove or solid fuel
solution: cut the empty can drink into half and roll cardboard into the can and feed wax

problem: NO UTENSILS
solution: use rotting twigs/branches lying on the grass and also with our fingers



day one
it was slow and slack. group one ran into some "arguements" with one of the trainers. so carissa, chole, melanie and me tried to talk things out PEACEFULLY. hmmm. anyway, learnt things such flag signals, how to pitch a flytarp as a shelter, and lashings which was kind of easy for the np people. tsk. then slept at the hall. sms yue ying and called her even. bird, be honoured okay! and also messaged amanda. hahas.


day two.
had this hike.
the places we went, carrying our bags which was awfully heavy with all our 3 day 2 night camp stuff.
- paya labar
- geylang (we kind of overshot so we made a u-turn somemore -.- )
- mountbatten road
- national stadium
- east coast park

an almost twelve hours hike. like wow. we thought we were lost because WE WERE WALKING AT THE SIDE OF THE EXPRESSWAY with no pavement!!! some poor navigating we had... pitch our tent in the dark. i dont know why everyone said it was fun. i think it was challenging. but not fun. especially having a damn fragile bamboo as a peg with one pathetic stone to peg it down. at the end, learnt how to press in the peg, thanks to carissa. lol. but sadly, dont know who lighted the candle and one of the boy's bag caught fire. as usual, group one's always the most troublesome group to all trainers. even map also can lost huh. sigh.


day three.
had water activities. some member of parliment came too. did area cleaning. then ya. crimson camp ended like tat.


i miss the trainers! awww. and uncle vic never tell group one his age. neither did lan hwee told us about her school! humph. and cynthia, han was bias to your group lah. rah. this leadership camp turn out to be some survivor camp. but this is the only camp i was so enthu in. although our group was rather quiet. especially the guys. except for xiao boy, which the whole camp knows him as the very colourful head -.-

let me recall which schools we had: macphersons, pasir ris sec, tampines sec, punggol sec, nan chiau, andersons sec, catholic high. yeah. the rest is sjc all the way. laughs.

awful awful.


last day of school. enjoyed myself in mass, and the so-called-deeparaya-celebration although i didnt even get to watch it. the priest presented a skit today. lol. i kinda think it's cute. awww.

anyway. got back report card. yeah yeah. improve. so wat. still bottom last. i've no comments. miss su even said i needed to prioritise my time between cca and studies. yep. i'll make sure i finish my revision before i start with npcc stuff again all rights. i can juggle one okay. humph.

went out with the usual people. and yue ying and i always end up fighting. hahas. yaya. and amanda's our personal "peace-maker" hmmm. interesting. amanda actually stopped us from yanking at each other by screaming at both of us -.-"

well. supposed to post some pics. but i'm still lazy. besides, it's less than 12 hours before camp starts. cynthia's packing. faeezah went shopping for stuff. and i'm here blogging. yayness. sigh. gonna miss these few people while i'm away...


yue ying: i'll think of you every night one okay. you'll be the first i'll call with my phone. so aren't you feeling honoured. sigh. feels odd not having you camping beside me. and how you would roll over me at night. screaming with me till YOU and amanda lost your voice, NOT ME (cause i'm the pro. hahas), during camp.

karin: mummy-mo. i'll be picking you up tomorrow. lol. and i promise i won't burp out loud again. i'll be mummy's girl!!!

amanda: so you think your confirmation rehearsal's more important than your twiny lah. humph. pang seh me in camp >.<

grace: don't go around talking with all your lame-ness okay. and dont act strong hor! let your feet have a good rest kaes. laughs.


okok. suddenly, i dont wanna go camp. i realised tat almost everyone's here. sigh.

control.
by this, my blood pressure will not increase.
oh please. before you go commenting on anything, take a good look at yourself in the mirror. argh. yes yes. i'm not as splendidful as you. but yeah. i'm glad i'm not like you. if you think i'm talking about you, then you're guilty. because. i'm not talking about anyone in particular actually!! wahahaha. lame. just wanna see who's guilty conscience. cause i'm no emo no more(: i will soar as high as the birds tat have strong wings to fly.
off to camp crimson.
27/10/06 - 29/10/06

!@$#*&^$

dont feel like blogging.

gonna post some pictures tomorrow. not in a mood to blog...

went kranji memorial today. and changi wwII site. hmmm. rather sad. hai. then went cynthia's house to watch GOONG. hahas. lame lah. you know the reason why i dont wanna watch it in the first place? cause i dont wanna get hook by anymore drama shows le): ahhh. all your fault can, cynthia. anyway, cooked for denyse, cynthia with the help of my assistant, amanda lauuu. karin left home early):

bought some ice-cream just now. joleen, carmen, raychel and yiping are so hardworking yeah. and so, joleen and carmen robbed me. and gave me so much ice cream. people, if i gain weight, it'll be their fault okay!! MOO(:


CHEER UP MUMMY. my present for you will rock you for sure(:

do you look back sometimes,
remembering how foolish and immature we once were?
watever stupid game you're playing,
i'm not interested.

i want to sleep.
i must sleep.
tomorrow. if it turns out bad. i dont know wat to say.
i really can't sleep lah.
ahhh. cynthia. you'll get promoted lah. you cant leave me. classmates for 2 years. squadmates for 3. i'm feeling horrible because daddy ishhhh feeling emo. and mummy ate too much spicy noodles for today's lunch. heh -.-"
sigh. i'm sorry.

"there won't be any training one lah"

ya rights. 18th NOVEMBER. 2nd class footdrill training -.-" HAI. i'm sad about tat. but i'm sadder because i can't get to send karin off to the airport): SIGH. i dont wanna go wat short vacation trip. how annoying. i dont like it whenever my mother "OFFER" to bring me overseas. just finished with my music-video schedule. calling for jamine. once. twice. SNORT! zZz...

today slacked at karin's house with amanda. we were playing board games. i didn't know how fun it would be, even though i was the one GIVING them "money". humph... also mahjonged. and also lost "money". haha. we dont gamble okay.

slept at three last night. was busy doing the video effects. learnt so much things in 5 hours. i didn't know tat i could remix music with my own computer. laughs. called jamine at 11.27pm yesterday but she didn't even answer her handphone. and her sis said she was still working -.-" hai. still trying to contact her now. i'm just afraid tat she'll reject it.


dreamt tat it was monday already. the day where the teachers determine who retains and who gets promoted. to determine who gets to keep their subject combination and who has to drop them. i dreamt tat i was reshuffled to 3faith. i would blame it all on mrs ng peckhoon. for transferring me from 3f to 3e in the beginning of this year. making my life miserable. why is it tat whenever i got comfortable with the people around me, they would always end up moving me to somewhere else. ah. it was a dream anyway -.-"

today i was the richest in my group. yay. but the money rather little -.-" yay. i love tat game. although this financial course didn't really explain how it really goes. hmmm...

training.

compass-ed. you know wat. i'm still angry with you stealing my shoe bag. so wait till i got mood then tell you.

actually. wat to say dude. everything's just the same. zZz.


to jamine: get well soon. and please pick up the phone -.-"
to yue ying: you're every-birdie's bird.
to cynthia: come on! you can do it! go spit more mountain dew on the table! yes you can!
to melissa: sausage = lizard? haha. you suddenly just remind me of tat
to karin: STRAWS??

got back half of our results. english turn out better than i thought. so many people did terribly for ss. the teacher marking it was trying to kill us or something. and i'm depending on my geog right now.
and so i cried for my sciences.
had this workshop. not bad. except the person was rather HIGH -.-" which gives me tat creep... ah wells.

badminton-ed today.

so wat if i really didn't have mood today. sigh. just 8 hours more before school starts. now that kind of irritates me. tomorrw will be collecting all of our results. now tat annoys me the most.

ah ass off.

oh ya. i forgot to tell you tat i wanna thank chouchou for sponsering meimei her movie ticket today anyway(: she is the best still. LOL. seriously. i love her plenty. not because of today's movie -.-" but for being my best birdie(:

okok. YOU. are getting on my nerves. JUST GET LOST OKAY. seriously. i've had it with this dumb.

GO AWAY. SHOO.

i really mean it.
although some friend dont even believe me.
incredible huh.

I DO NOT ENJOY THIS SHEET.
is this convincing enough already. arse.
I DONT THINK THIS IS FUNNY.
i'm tired. goodbye.
ANTI-SPAMMER.

happy birthday, mother.

just sent karin off. she was wearing pe shirt while gym-ing -.-" before she decided to visit me for awhile.
marking day(: so today, went to cathay to catch SILK the movie. hmmm. not bad. and please lah yue ying, i didn't even scream okay. who was the one doing solo screaming today arh? not a lot hor. only amanda, karin, cynthia and yue ying(: laughs. all rights people. i'm going to bathe now.
wat do you want? fancy you going around ruining other people's life. even if your life is already ruined, doesn't mean tat you can go messing with others. especially my friends. i will haunt you down. and slit your tongue. gorge your eyes. gut you inside out.

bored. today rotted at home.
discussed with peisi about the sec1 orientation.
tried calling regina and finding out tat there's no such number -.-"
took a nap.
had lunch with grace before her tuition.
visited my daily blogs and youtube sites.
practice fa ru xue with my mouldy piano; jay chou rocks(:
and happy birthday, bro(:


on thursday.
a bird flew to my house.

threw her bag and socks on the floor like tat, contributing to the air pollution in the modern world today.


my piano student practicing diligently, just like her teacher(:


oh look. she even translated the notes with some alphabetes on top -.-
SHANG HU HAI(:

just came back from my family reunion dinner. haha. my jie and aunt were so lame today -.-" the food was okay. also celebrated my mother's and brother's birthday. heh.


"you nodded"
"i nodded because..."

seven sins. Anger, is one of them. sorry. i nodded because i wanted you to know tat i understood your frustration. i'm guilty as charged. i've made you angry again. didn't know tat you'd get tat upset upon seeing me having some sort of communication with..... but it was unplanned. i was not even the one who started the ____ i didn't have any intention of spiking you. i have no drugs. dont angry le): i love my birdie loads. i promise i wont ___ __ __ again if you dont want me to!

i got tired of trying to edit the photo collage of mine.
so i ended up taking another blogskin.com code.
laughs. kind of remind me of val's one. ah wells.

maybe the problem really lies with me.


latern festival with the haze -.-"

sparklers.


candles in sand.


cynthia, denyse, grace and yue ying figuring how to use a lighter...

after mass, nanyang jc open house, and denyse birthday bbq, i was already tired out.

just finished washing the freaking toilet. i rushed through it. anyway. thanks grace for accompanying me to eat my dinner at 9 plus. so i crapped with grace till the bus arrived at 9.50pm and she left for home. also told her tat i shall not bother going out at all. shall isolate the detestable me from the world. and start doing revision. because i'm the dumbest ass in the entire universe.

the reason i kept quiet throughout the journey's not because i was being unreasonable, venting anger on you all. it's just tat. watever i joke, you'll always take it so seriously. and make me feel like i'm insulting you instead. and hurting you. now who wants to hurt a friend. or maybe, no one has ever thought me as one. and so it was meant to be a compliment. you topped your class for amath. so wat i said about your math sucks, was obviously a joke. because how could your maths suck. then wat am i to you. does tat mean i'm insulting myself too. because your marks are like 4 times of mine. thanks jolene. you rock. you're the "smartest" person on earth.

how to avoid hurting people verbally again.
shall not talk.
will not talk.
must not talk.

last 2 papers today.


i feel sick. no. no part of me felt relieved when we complete the very last paper.

no. i dont have the mood to rejoice.
no. i can only stop freaking out the day we'll get back our papers.
no. i will not cry. i'm already mentally prepared.


i just need to see my marks...
i cant get over my chemistry paper still. and english. and amaths. i just dont get it. why was i so dumb.
sigh. so anyway. mahjong-ed with karin, yue ying, cynthia, amanda and denyse. wanted to nap on the bed. but they were PONG-ing and singing jay chou songs. so ya... ... ....

no. dont say tat we ought to have some confidence in ourselves. because. it's stated there already. tat i am a failure. with all those bloody freaking blanks. just rate me stupid. thank you. shall end off my day now then. nites people.
no one was mentioning about this girl. so why would the girl think it as tat way? perhaps, it's the guilt inside her. or maybe, she's just being thick-skin... ... ...

hmmm.

gonna be two now.
got out of bed at 12 and decided to mug -.-" how. i can't sleep. lucky today no paper for me. hahas. good luck for the bio people today all rights(: i wonder if cynthia have finished studying. if only bio text comes in the form of television. laughs.


sigh.
bored. talking to carmen and cherly online now. apparently, carmen's burning midnight oil although i'm sure she studied like soo beforehand -.-" and cherly, just couldnt sleep. and is trying to make me jealous because she's done with her N's already. FINE. hahas. whee. zZz.

today morning, i woke up and grabbed my books to mug. but an hour later, i was watching School of Rock on cinemax. -.-" then watched MTV top ten. yeah. laughs.
this song reminds me of you.
later playing latern with yue ying and cynthia. unless cynthia would rather go shopping huh -.-" i dreamt of something yesterday. i dreamt tat i playing with my friend again. but dreams always come out the exact opposite. so wat the heck all rights. i need to concentrate with my studies now. yay. byebye world.

07102006
study physics & amaths
play candles

0 8 10 2006
study emaths & physics
amaths tuition

i barely studied for 2 hours and i'm already giving up.

today i was mugging for chem. and i asked kendra why she aint doing tat. and she said she'd given up already. maybe i should just do tat as well. yeah. perhaps i should. wat for continue now. when i know tat they'll just kick me out of the pures after today's crap i've written on my answer sheet.
i'm breaking down. i dont have tat energy to even attempt to achive tat goal anymore. and i'm here blogging away precious time tat's meant for mugging.
is it just my eyes or is it the haze. sigh.

if doing 4 hours of chinese paper today aint enough, then there's still TWENTY damn chapters of chemistry to finish off before 8.15am tomorrow. last minute studying again(: but at least we get to go home at 10.15am after tat. hahas. i shall catch up with my sleep tomorrow after my chemistry paper then. whee.

making coffee later. last night i was rather hyper. even though it was past mid-night. caffeine makes me HIGH(: i know grace was dozing off again on the phone. hahas. thanks for accompanying me study my chemistry(: and guess wat. today's chinese? well. it was crappy as usual. ah wells. tata people.


eyelids heavy.

eyelids drooping...


dropping....



CLOSED!!

okok. i admit tat even though i have thoughts about tat, i'll still never be able to achieve my dream-on target. who was i kidding. but still, i'll do my best. yes! me and big birdie will work hard together yeah(:


targets for SA2

english - B3 C5
which i think would be SUCH a miracle. sorry miss lim. i've screwed this up and i think i'm gonna fail):

chinese - B3
my chinese isH sHo awful. how to get so high. tsk.

social studies & geography - A2 B3
i know it's the most wishful thinking i can ever have. mrs lee would be so disappointed with today's paper.

amaths - B3
maths is hard, for me. but i hope to make miss ong happy(:

emaths - A2
judging from today's paper one, i think i need to work like damn hard for paper two now. hai. but for mr yeo, i think i can make this happen.

pure physics - A1
mrs thiru said 70 is like the passing mark. and she wants us to get 75 the least. so yeah. i hope tat i'm not too stupid enough to disappoint her.

pure chemistry - A2
eh. it's one of the hardest subject okay. with those dumb essay, how to even make it through? sigh. okok. i shall just keep my promise to miss su to do better this time round.

4th october, wednesday.
0900 - 1030 (1hr 45mins) ............ Combined Humanities (Social Studies) 2190/01
11-30 13-30 (2 hrs) ...................... Elementary Mathematics (Paper 1) 4017/01


letter of the day :
F

for
FREAKS. i'm pissed.

humph.

oh ya. by the way, i'm not a nerd. so dont call me tat. kaes lah. peace people. because UN here AIMS for peace and stability(:

hmmm. i'm still pissed.
no. not about the NERDY thing; i'm just hardworking(:

but... argh. idiots. i'm off to channel my anger on social studies then. NERD not. (:


word of the day.
overrated - "to have too good an opinion of something"
"don't overrate yourself, because you are nothing but an annoying piece of dung"
- did i use it right? pardon me, cause my language = YUCKS.
see, mE learn sHo mani new words todae. i hope EUU have 2(:

somtimes, the sound of your voice IRKS me.
tuition just ended. so anyway. it's CHILDREN'S DAY(: cynthia sms-ed me at 1am yesterday -.-"

didn't bother to reply her. HAHA. my beauty sleep lah(x i asked my mother for an advanced of my allowance. to buy some dumb books. laughs. bored. all rights. cant blog now. loves.
yes, i wanna beat you TAT MUCH.
"suddenly, i realised tat running away wouldnt solve this stupid misery. yet, i took no initiative to start the conversation because i hated the humilation." - from my SA2 english compo.

we ought to be ashamed of ourselves.
had english paper today. I SCREWED EVERYTHING.

letter format - wrong

comprehension - wrong wrong wrong.


it doesnt mean tat i dont care or anything by laughing at the mistakes i had after the whole paper ends. but it's just like wat our chinese textbook said, sulking over your problem aint going to make it better. so yeah. i'm going to HAHA all the way then. sigh.

detest. dislike. hate.

i detest my life. more likely myself. i stink like rotten eggs.
i dislike my grades.
i hate this ****ed up world.


looked at the dictionary. and the meaning of detest means a stronger word of hate.
i have always thought it was the other way round.
bang bang. i shot you down. bang bang. you hit the ground.
people, grab your MUGS, get set, GO!

woke up at 11.

wrapped my physics and amaths text(:

tat was not in my schedule though. hmmm. told jodi i'll finish up all the five eoy papers by saturday. but i havent touch on them yet. sigh. i so love my physics textbook coverpage. laughs. but i think it's too exaggerating le. heh -.-"


see how i shower my books with such tender loving care(:
(it's a photocopy of the sec3 squad if you're wondering wat is tat. LOL.

so anyway. me and big bird have agreed to mug real hard for final year. so this means NO computer for the whole of the coming 2 weeks. so no blogging then. ah wells. bye people. and good luck for y'all exams(:

set a timetable for myself. in which. for the today's schedule, i'm already behind time -.-"

let me tell you wat i did today. me and grace wanted to study. so i gave her a morning call at 5am. but i was practically talking to myself huh. cause she was dozing back off when i was on the phone -_- so i mugged a little only. geog test? bad. i wrote some much when suddenly, i had this thought tat distracted me, thus i forgot the point of inadequete farming facilities!!! gosh. i'm. stooopid.
had a thought. tat wat if things turn out differently.
skit today. but felt no anxiety or watsoever. i just stood on the stage, beside christabel, bow our heads and stone. spoke a few sentence when our turn came. by the way, amanda was so cute! i was vibrating during she and laurel's turn to act. awww(:

had lunch with grace and yue ying. they were talking. whereas i, was CRAPPING. sigh. all tat i said were just a bunch of crap. went home with grace after tat. met ellena and josephine on the bus. and we were like talking bout some sick joke -.-" then "KIND" grace alighted the same bus stop with me and sent me off to the next bus. hahas. so i'm here to say tat i'm honoured. and secondly, i'm not going to give you any morning call le. humph!!!

22 september 2006.
training: none.
sad.

I'M SO DETERMINED that i'm here blogging away precious time, instead of mugging -.-"

i was sweating while doing my revision can. wat the. and i only did 2 hours of work before i went off watching some national science challenge on teevee? laughs. i was bored. so anyway. i'm heading back to studies. say yay.
curiousity ego kills the cat. i'll make sure i'll beat the life out of you. i'll throw the damn results right in your bloody face and prove to you that i can be as good. sigh. all rights. no harm done. just venting my anger over here. so, PEACE people. need some motivation only. because i've had it with being the i'm-worse-than-you person in class. arsehole.
i'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

- polish ONE more round of my np boots
- finish up amaths
- revise emaths
- finish revision for geog
- start on chemistry

all rights. tat's all i'm doing for today. considering that i was absent from school today. still must slog hard huh. i dont want to be last.

have not been blogging. wont be blogging today if my brother had not on this com. laughs. he was watching youtube, thus making my distracted with all tat. hmmm. kaes. off to finish up all these now. tata.
will people get wat they wish for? yearning to be noticed. yearning for that trust tat will never be given. wat is trust, when all tat's been lost is, faith.
9 days to final year exam.

boo.
for the first time, i've never blogged for two days. gosh.

all rights. i'm gonna rush through my day before i fill myself with some books. sigh. so lessons was okay i guess. stayed back till 5 plus to help out with the noticeboard. so people, say you LOVE the curtains all rights. ha. then compassed to have my dinner with karin before heading back home. kaes. bye world.

AND AUNTY BAOYI. i'm not kiasu can. not as good as you(: and i didnt gossip okay. maybe aunty karin did. hahas. but who wanna gossip about nan chiau's squad. me and karin were talking about OUR own sjc one lah(: sheesh. lalala.

had loads of fun today. did two tests. and i wont be suprised if i'd fail them. i know mrs thiru would be stunned with this kind of sheet i'd give her. but i really dont know wat they talking about. sheesh...
15th.
lessons as normal. cd period. watched the plays. well. not all. missed 3I one. awww. i dont get to see mummy and daddy on stage. ah wells.
but it doesn't concern you.
went off to for some physics microelectronics activity at tamasek poly. the lecture was all right. the food was nice(: and the code thingy was fun. yay. on the bus, me, yue ying and amanda sat together on a two-seater. we skinny wat. then amanda sat on my lap. so ticklish please. we laughed and screamed in the bus -.-" everyone looked at us can. so i END UP sitting on yue ying's lap listeninig to jay chou songs(:

rushed to training. no voice. talk also no one can listen wat. so i only spent an hour on training. and that was it for the whole year's official npcc trainings. then compass-ed. ate and crap TONS. with me laughing for the whole world to hear, non-stop like some machine gun. they were no better lah hor, karin, yue ying, atiqa, bernice, melissa, cecilia. laugh until -.-"
i like to laugh. and laugh even more when i'm...
then wong yue ying was playing catching with wong bao yi when baoyi collided into a small boy. not only tat, she fell ONTO the boy!!! then he started crying and his mother started scolding. well. i would be crying too if i were to be crushed under a 15 year old girl that is three times of my height -.- but i was thanking god that the satay stick he was holding near his face, if no one ever noticed, did no harm to both him and baoyi. and bestie, please take care of your waist o.0 laughs.

before i blog,
i would like to say GET WELL KARIN LUM(:

see lah. told you not to share drinks with me you dont believe. now you've got fever. which all leads to sore throat, runny nose and cough right? tsk. and you missed training today ):

did all the basic rifle drills within this whole training. amazing that our squad is able to learn tat fast. tsk. well. i was dozing off actually. practically falling asleep both during class and during training. so i shall go take a nap after this. nites people.

homework's piling up and the worst thing is, tat i can't sit my butt on the darn chair to do them all. i owe mr yeo many many homework -.-" hai.

sick today. woke up at 6.38am. thanks to grace's call -.- she and lynnette ma'am were at the bus stop waiting for me. lol. so when i hung up the call, i went back to sleep. and then called a cab 10 mins later, and flew off to school.

first runny nose. then now blocked nose. not funny can. but anyway. we managed to drag ss test to thursday. yeah. more time to study(: plus my physics test on tat day too. how. i'm scared. mrs thiru nagged at us today. sigh. and i realised tat i can't afford to fail the end of year paper.

went cynthia's house to have lunch. ate panadol with herbal tea. yay. i love cynthia. thanks for the meal today. so karin, me and cynthia ate fruits, chips, watched a little teevee(and i dozed off afterawhile). ah wells. i'm tired. i shall finish up my homework now. and then practice a little footdrill for tomorrow's training.

qian yi: linked(:
baoyi: duh. jay chou sing for me one wat(:
cynthia: hahas. dots.
karin: hahas. more like i was sleeping like a PIG -.-"
yue ying: i'm reading very fast le lor. tsk.

all rights. still blogging. have loads of things not done yet. hmmm. shall take a nap first. anyway. i dont know wat to say. hmmm. i know. i've set my priorities right now. study comes first. wait. SAFETY'S ALWAYS FIRST. laughs. lame. so I SHALL STUDY. zZz.
trying so hard. but wat's the use. no one takes me seriously in wat i'd to say. just because i was a failure. now a failure. and will always be a failure. duh-
so i'm never going to take any of these as a joke anymore. this time, i'm for real.

the whole internet server seemed to be down. and there are only 5 people online out of over 100 contacts in my list -.-"

hmmm. anyway, there was a steve irwin tribute yesterday. animal planet had a 24 hours marathon of all his shows. and i spent 4 hours on my couch watching. sigh. sad.

so anyway. first day of school was rather short. left class earlier for our road safety park. i was having a runny nose. my nose felt like as if it was practically going to fall off sooner or later. and perhaps running off with a trail of... laughs. went compass after tat. then -.-" sat bus with karin. and when i woke up, i found no one beside me and i was at thomson road. humph. so i took a detour back home. alone now. off to mug. take care people.


"the old trixie felt like part of a group. the new trixie felt alone, even when she was surrounded by people. the old trixie would have taken one look at the new trixie and dismissed her as a total loser."

doing the illustration for the physics project now. bored. gonna rush through my emaths after this. and then maybe have a short night story before i sleep. so much homework i realised. laughs. and there's a chem test?! gosh. thanks val. i didnt know -.-"

i dont want to give mrs chan. there's no honour i'd feel. because. i did nothing. contributed nothing. bel, can ask someone else to do? sigh.

finished tuition!! YESSHHHH!!!
why are you drawing a line. or am i the one being so immature. sigh.
(:
i'm staring at your birthday gift. to give or not to.
raychel: denise sexy?! then i sexier!! hahas. sure. outing soon(:
grace: thanks for the previous flooding as well. hahas(:
cherly: miss you, bro(: thanks for being there.
yue ying: thanks for tat flooding -.-" papaoCHA(:
rebecca: oh becca, you need not lie to yourself(: my name's so gorgeous please. say no more!! wahahahas. and you playing with yourself arh -.-"
karin: you dont flood?! has the sky fallen? (:
baoyi: hahas. how can bestie want to kill me): the most i shall haunt you back yeah(:
maylene: miss you much much too(:

hmmm. back home. finally got the jay chou album. waiting for my brother to come home so tat i can watch another round. laughs. all rights. i'm going to finish up my homework now. sigh.
i'm not emo. wat the. sigh. just tat. i've lost faith in everything.
people seemed to hear the gossips.
and never care to find out why,
and whether it could be just another lie.

i'm never gonna touch on sushi ever again!! went out with people today. met yue ying and karin for the english project. snap some pictures at the singapore river before heading to city hall for lunch. me and karin almost puke everything out. anyway. I WON KAES. I ATE MORE THAN YOU LAH(: you dapao so much home. hahaha. and was i pro or was i pro(:


WAAAAH!!! singapore river isH sHo looong(:

went walk walk after tat. saw the jay chou cd. but when we wanted to collect ours today, the lady told us tat the stock at compass havent come in yet. so we have to go back compass again tomorrow... humph. so anyway. shopped for karin's brother's birthday -.-" then train-ed home. celebrated my father's birthday. and amazingly, i still could eat so much barbequed fish(: while karin didnt even touch her brother's birthday the steamboat. LOL. SO I WIN OKAY!!!


JAY CHOU ALBUMS(:

this feeling stinks. to be accused of. i didnt know it would hurt so much. but i'm gonna face all the consequences then. even if i've to ... ... ...

yay. 8th september now(: gonna get my jay chou album. then meet karin and yue ying to take pictures for our english project. gosh. it's friday already?! i havent studied. sigh. all rights. i'll study tonight. humph... ... ...
3 months ago.

melissa ong: the picture was cute. you've been there for me since we were sec1. i sometimes wonder if i'm a good enough laopo for you norts. cause i know i wasn't there for you many times. sigh. i miss you laogong!!

grace see: thanks for the sweet little sms. and always making me laugh with your nonsense(:

yue ying: big bird knows how to roar. hmmm. lalala(:

cynthia: -.-"

atiqa: i miss you and i'm still sorry.

cecilia ng: hellos too(:

baoyi: hmmm. dont know leh. laughs.

i'm not gonna look back now. hmmm(:

firstly,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DADDY!! hope you like the PRESENT(:

morning. karin came to my house and helped me with all the junk food. then we left to get the birthday cake before cabbing to her house. amanda came after tat.

then!! three of us panic when yue ying said she and cynthia were walking here already. so karin was busy lighting up the candles down the hallway. while i was lighting up the cake and making the bed. amanda did a nice banner for her too. lol.

then. SURPRISE. haha. lame.

cynthia said it was her first time cutting the cake -.-" then she took a not-very-long time to burst finish the balloons. karin, cecilia, amanda, yue ying and i wrote little notes and stuff them into these nice balloons and let her find every number one by one. say AWWW(: we're so sweet. you can practically die of diabetes(: hee. then we presented our birthday girl our presents. i GAVE CYNTHIA... ... hahas. have to thank karin for lending me her ribbon. so tat i could wrap myself like a gift. then presenting myself to her. laughs. and yue ying's present was so SCARY can. lol.

mahjonged. movie-d. and spent the rest of the time talking on karin's bed.
then this THREE WARRIORS.
yue ying. amanda. cynthia.
"sit up straight."
"ROAR!!!"
wat the... -.-" so lame. laughs. also played pillow fight. but i was not in a mood. sigh.

then compass-ed with cynthia to buy stuff. then went her house downstairs for awhile. hmmm. can't wait for tomorrow's release of jay chou's latest album. yay. book one album already. got poster some more. hahas.

you didnt know how much i yearn for you to talk to me.
dont lie to me again.
i knew the truth behind your fake smile ALL ALONG.
and before you know it, i'll be out of your life.
maybe tat way, you could be happy.
every single memory i had with you would be erased.
and replaced, shall be my hatred now.
i hate myself for actually once believing in those words.
NO ONE EVEN TELL ME THE NAMES. SIGH. I WAS NOT THE ONE WHO SAID TAT!!!
someone told me a different story. and when the someone turn her back. she said another. i guess i was fooled by tat someone once more.
NO ONE BELIEVES ME.

bored.

feel like talking on the phone now. but no one to talk to. sigh. i should talk to my pillow then. nites people.
people would say i'm stupid to be crying over this.

i feel like closing down my blog. it's useless.
i dont want to see you ever again. you made me so angry tat i actually cried. go away. shoo. you dumb hypocrite. i dont want you to act in front of me. you can just say it. so why cant you say it. so why cant i say it either. take everything lah. i give them all up for you. just leave me alone. i can't wait to get out of this school. never to see such a mean person like you ever again. two-sided freak.

it seems like the fault totally lies with me. i should have checked with mr chan. i'm a bloody idiot. no. i dont deserve this. i totally suck. just go and hate me. you have every right for tat. wat the heck. no one even know tat i'm... argh. i know i'm stupid. failing in everything i do, unlike you all. it's perfectly understandable tat you would detest me. but i didnt say TAT. it wasnt me. so can someone at least clear my name? it really wasn't... tat's another part of the story where... argh. so why does it seem like that person always get away scot free. you took everything away from me already. you made me cry more than enough. and now. sigh. forget it. wat for pinpoint others. when the start, it should be my fault. i dont wanna go for any training. i knew you'd not be happy. in everything i do seriously. even when i put in so much effort. i'm just so inferior to you all. i'm stupid. i should have quit this cca back when i was sec2. because i knew tat i would bring down the standard of this cca tat everyone has greatly contributed.
atiqa: maaf. adik dumb. saya tahu kak mau pergi lah. sigh. saya cinta kamu. lots.

"sleep early. tomorrow's the competition. nights(:"

hmmm. thanks yue ying. all i need now is someone who actually cares for me genuinely. hmmm. no one even know what i'm actually losing precious beauty sleep over about. laughs. things are better left unsaid huh.
i am who i am. if you dont like tat, you can just tell me right in the face.
DOWN WITH THE HYPOCRITES!!!
ah wells. i'm bored. it's 11.20pm now. time flies awfully fast you see. i was stoning in front of the com and a moment later, i realised. i've been online for the past 4 hours already. sigh.

have been listening to my own blog song for at least an hour now. ha. all rights. i ought to sleep soon. my mother's fetching me, karin and yue ying to school tomorrow. nan yang, here we come.