a very interesting snippet of some random chat.

X: u re those active and enthus type of ci?
me: hahahauhhhhhhhhhhh. can say so lah.
X: icic... good ma.
me: but maybe not going to be so active at the end of this year. concentrate on other parts of life in 2012. before the world ends. haha.
X: haha....which other parts of life?study or u mean other than tt...
me: study plus friends. plus enjoy life a bit if possible..
X: haha.... stil single?.
me: haha. no time to have boyfriend lahhh.
X: i know.. npcc is ur part time boy friend. stead so long liao..lol..
me: haha. ya lor. 7 years lor. maybe i should get married to npcc.
X: haha... cannot la...then u die liao... ur hubby also wont die.
me: hahaha. my hubby got SO MANY wives already lor.
X: ya lor,,,.
me: so if i die, he wouldnt be sad. lol.
X: haha.... how can it be? no emotion some more. break his heart he also dun care.


hmmm.
okay, it isnt really very interesting afterall.
it's just a stark reminder to myself about this topic.
i really am thinking of letting a part of it go.
less commitments to this means i can finally explore what's out there,
and perhaps make new commitments to other aspects in life.
mmm... we'll see about that after this year.




i've been wondering,
what's the difference between habits and addictions.

the reason behind why you do the things you do...
is it because you're so used to it that it becomes a habit,
or that you've become too hooked to it to break that addiction?

huh. so this is how life is one month later?
hm. funny how things have played out.
it seriously doesnt feel like a month.
it feels way more than that. like it has been a badgood three months. at least.
i guess time really crawls when misery is at its best.

i .... ... am happy. that's all i'll ever be allowed to feel.

i need a new place to study through the night.

a new place with no memories.



sigh.

where did you go.
i have been selfish to you.
it wasn't fair for you at all.
i dont know what i'm feeling right now.
nothing feels right at this moment.
i didnt expect things to turn out this way.
argh.
and this time, my words are failing me terribly.

it seems like it's been a long time now.
but it's just a little over half a month ago since it all begin spiralling down.
2 weeks 1 day to be more precised.
i no longer feel hurt. just disappointment.

i've tried to make sense of it all,
and i know some questions may just be left unanswered.
and although i was the one who had to find out the truth on my own,
i'm satisfied.

people say that if you stop bottling your problems up and confide,
you would feel better.
well, i've told my story to the great people in my life,
but why is it that it feels as though i'm not yet done telling yet,
and that the one person i wish to tell is .

pathetic. sigh.


speaking of which,
got back our last term's test papers.
results have been slowly slipping away.
i hadnt been paying attention to it last term and i was already prepared for the outcome of my distraction,
so all i can say is that i have no time to lose.
i've gotta take this as an opportunity to catch up.

on a side note,
this morning, i had a sudden personal revelation.
the sun is always rising, and setting, somewhere for someone to see.
at any point of time, there will be a sunrise happening on earth.
it happens all the time, every single moment.

I AM SO OVER IT!!!

i've never felt such pure joy for weeks already until yesterday.
best new year ever!
thanks mel for the awesome date!

the universe is wonderful :D
seriously, like what mel said, what are the chances of encountering such a thing?
i'm grateful for it.

lesson well learnt!

my closure to this issue cannot get any better than this.

Well Done!



It's a good start to 2011!