-warning-
this post is crap.
it's for ranting sake.



what i've been doing: staring at cdc lesson slots

i was dazed today.
didn't really pay attention to what's happening around me.
and when my instructor was telling me a bunch of stuff,
i told him: it's raining.
and he said even if it's raining, there is no such thing as no mood to drive cause it's raining.

i don't know what i'm doing in my life right now.
people, we shouldn't be asking this question.
we should stop saying i-dont-knows.
we should know.
i am going to look forward, and not look back.
jolene shall now take the step to move on; to grow up.

so, i have been missing for quite a while.
cause clearly, i dont know what i've been doing.
whatever.
did you know i used to get annoyed with people who like to use "whatever" so freaking often.
it made me irritated that they didnt care for things they should be caring for.
uh. get it?
hmmm. guess not.
but yeah. whatever.
cause happiness can't be achieved when people care for the wrong things.
because the things that we care for are sometimes not worth caring for.
because if we care, it goes to show that we still hope for the best,
and that we have this little belief things will turn out okay.
but sometimes, we should stop being so naive to believe it would ever happen.
'cause sometimes, hopeless situations ARE really that hopeless.
and if you only realise it after pinning on so much hope, it will just break your heart.
like how i broke my own puny little heart.
yes, no hope. not at all.
last night was crap.
i can't take crappy attitudes. i know i deserve crap, but i'm not going to accept it always.
i realised that. i have verbal diarrhea.
it means i can go on ranting and ranting and ranting.
i have a lot to say.
treat it as compensation for not blogging for so long.
hmmm.
i have cravings for my childhood songs.
if you realised my blog songs are a bit classic...
i'm listening to old songs when i've just told myself to look forward.
i should find futuristic songs in future. laughs.

okay. i'm done ranting.
goodnights world.