failure.

i'm trying to pick myself up.
i'm trying to be an optimist.
but why are the things happening to me these days telling me otherwise.
that whatever i think positively is going to end up as a bitter disappointment.
i have had enough of disappointments.
look at the efforts i put in which doesn't show much of a result.
look at my failures.
this goes to show that i shouldn't be a glass-half-full person.
cause being optimistic means you expect something positive. something more.
optimism. the tendency to be hopeful and to emphasize the good part of a situation rather than the bad part; the belief that good things will happen in the future.
but what if you're just not good enough for good things to happen to you.
wouldnt it hurt less if you hadnt set an expectation for yourself.
wouldnt it hurt less if you had not hoped at all.
the higher we put ourselves up, the harder we'll fall.

i have had enough of judgemental people who let their judgements affect their decisions.
it affects me.
it affects my morale.
it affects my self esteem.
it affects my life.

there's a feeling.