dear blog,
right at this moment,
please allow me to spam you with random thoughts.

Thought #1:
normally, when i see a good looking person, i would say she's pretty;
it's what i see inside one's heart in which i would then say: beautiful.

Thought #2:
my pillars of strength. where are they.
it's no wonder i break down and fall apart all too often these days.
they are like the glue that hold me altogether.

Thought #3:
accounts paper - started to study from 2300 to 0430. then from 0645 till the end of paper at 1112.
it's like 10 hours of brain cells slaughter.
and although i'm feeling the effects of last minute studying,
(the fatigue, the disappointment and sense of hopelessness when i realised i had overestimated the time i thought i had to complete the syallabus- in other words, i did not finish studying what was required of us to)
i. just. can't. sleep.

Thought #4:
i need new songs pretty badly.

Thought #5:
looking back at the past,
some memories made me smile,
and some made me cringe.

Thought #6:
Are things going too fast that we're missing something along the way?
Are we focusing too much on what's at the finishing line that we have missed the small tiny details during the journey?

Thought #7:
*likes* carmen's tumblr.

Thought #8:
A random old Facebook Status: -
"The list of Things To Do doesnt seem to stop growing longer. Yet, I live in self denial thinking this YOG break is more than enough time to complete it. Shoo, Procrastination. Come, Motivation."
which looks like it's not only going to be applicable at that period, but until i decide to do something about it.

Thought #9:
Is about Thought #2.

Thought #10:
I miss them.
I hope they are doing fine, be it in poly, university, working, be it local or overseas.

Thought #11:
Fatigue is getting to me.
Thank you blog for letting me 'pen' down my thoughts.
Thank you surviving readers for being so patient with me.

Goodnight.

Hi,

i'm bored.
it's almost the end of the semester.
just 2 more papers and we'll be wrapping up our 3rd Semester in Poly.
i realised i have been absent from this blog for one whole term.
and i wonder who would still come here expecting me to have updated it.
i wouldnt be surprised if most have given up checking up on it.

oh wells.
this exam is long and draggy.
who says having a cramped-up exam schedule is bad?
a prolonged exam period is torturous when all you want to do is to hurry get it done and over with.
but apparently, it's not possible when the school has spreaded all the papers across the 3 weeks.
tsk, jolene jolene, why are you so complainy.
previously, the blog post was with regards to Mid-Sem Test. 6 papers in 1 week
now this post about 6 modules in 3 weeks-
the papers are pretty far apart from each other that i am actually experiencing holiday mood already.
seeing most of my friends having already completed their exams makes me so very jealous.
i'm already slacking despite only having completed 4 modules.
then again, i have been rather slack this whole semester.

YOG Study break was pretty meaningless to me.
too far away from exams to be studying hard,
too guilty to be playing too hard.
neither here nor there.

hm.
cant wait to get to the finishing line of this diploma journey.
sadly, i'm only, almost, halfway there.



superficial?
befriending someone for some motive?
hypocritical?
do non-judgemental friends exist?

dont pretend.

sunday, monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, SATURDAY.
seven consecutive days.
you can find me at singapore indoor stadium.

SYF Opening Ceremony 2010

nervous T_T

while having a heart to heart talk just before logistics paper,
ruiting talked about the art of flying a kite.

if you pull the string too hard,
it will break away.

if you let loose too fast,
it will come spiralling down.

and so, once you learn the skill of when to pull and when to let go,

then that is when you will see it fly.

no more.

words have left me.
i cant think of the right words to say.

what now?
what am i supposed to do?

rights.
i've been awoken by a call from my mother to close the windows should it rain just now at 8.48am.
2 hours after finally falling asleep at around 6 plus in the morning.

i give up trying to get any more sleep.
why do i always blog during exam period?
why is it that my thoughts only come at this time.
studying = thinking too too much; beyond the lecture notes?

anyway,
i'm here to offically declare that jolene is going to focus on mugging in the last 2 days before MST starts.
my sudden motivation to focus is so compelling that i have to blog it out!
i'm glad my determination finally came.
i'm grateful to the fact that i'm able to pick myself up fast enough.
YES. no more drifting away in other-than-lecture-notes thoughts!

GAMBATTE to those chiong-ing too!

hello, i'm awake now, not because i'm mugging,
but because there's just a lot of things to reflect about.
i'm getting cold feet and fast, irregular heartbeat.
so much thoughts flying in my head.

this is not a good time to be distracted.
i am very determined to settle this situation once and for all.
no more dragging it. i'm waiting for the verdict.
i dont want anymore meaningless attempts.

it's soon to be 5am. i'm still too agitated to sleep.
i'm wasting very very precious resting hours blogging.
this MST is going to be a killer.
6 papers in 5 days.
yet so many modules i have yet to revise.

sigh. nothing else to blog.
maybe i'll just use my notes as an attempt to comfort myself and make me sleepier.
so little hours before daybreak.
i thought i had just came home from dinner.
and now it's soon to be breakfast.

time is passing way too fast...
way, wayyy too fast for me to comprehend.