it's been awhile since we landed back on homeland.

i wish words could describe every feeling i've felt during the trip.
it is such a beautiful chapter of our lives.

it feels so magical;
it feels surrealistic to have it happened now that we're all back to reality in singapore.

i remember only have finished packing my luggage just before i left the house at 5.05am.
the feeling of going to the airport was pretty much just reluctant- to leave so much things unfinished, and to embark on the unknown.

i remember the journey to shanxi was rather tiring, with planes that lack of any entertainment services and delays in the 2nd flight.

i remember how the team reacted to the "road rage" as we carried on our jounrney by bus.
i remember the difficulties i had to write my name down on the piece of paper as the bus shook violently and constantly to the uneven-ness of the road.

i remember getting hit by the coldness as we stepped into dayaodi village for the first time.
it was midnight by then. the place was so quiet and dark, with little lights to lead us the way to our room.

i remember cuddling up every night, shivering and chattering, wishing i was sweating it out back in singapore.

i remember waking up every morning to see faces of the team, the villagers, the dog and the kitten.

i remember seeing 2 shooting stars on different nights.
a beautiful line drawn across the star-filled night sky.

i remember the 4 mountains we climbed within one day.

i remember us trying out the street food which was awesome.

i remember having our first bath, after 7 days.

i remember the sunrise-
us squeezing into the van.
us waiting for the sun to rise.
wait for it... wait for it -
and there, the first glimspe of the sun, just above the mountains.
i wish emo clique was there to witness it too.

and oh, how can i not remember that 80 percent of our conversation topics consisted of shit.
because, how can we possibly forget the experience of using the mao che (toilet) there.
everyday, we'd be updating each other whether or not we have pooped, and how much of it.

i remember the meals that the villagers prepared for us-
frozen hands warming up to the hard boiled eggs for breakfast.
i remember all the toasts we had made.
"chi de hao, chi de bao"

i remember the digging of trenches, shovelling tons of soil, washing of pebbles.

i remember all the small little tiny details that put a smile on my face, i'm grateful for-
the people who have helped me one way or the other throughout this trip.

i remember dancing and singing under stars, out in the cold, rehearsing for our performances.

i remember rushing the project late into the night,
us insisting that we couldnt sleep and convincing them to let us help,
talking to the villagers about life, translating to sarina as much as i myself could understand,
freezing in the coldness with hands numbed by the soaked gloves worn,
with arms weak from all the washing of pebbles,
fascinated by the thick fog that has descended upon the village.
then, at 2am, a group of us were there having cup noodles in the fog.
it was the last night, but it was too foggy to star gaze in the village for the last time.

i remember boarding the bus with heavy hearts, hesistant to leave.

all these experience our team share will always be remembered.



hmmm.
i think no matter how great i describe it here, you have got to experience it yourself to understand how truly awesome it has been.

i'm truly cherish this opportunity given to us.
really thankful to everyone who is a part of making all these happen.



a new semester - starting next week.
plenty has changed.
can you feeling the anxiety of it?

there's so much to say, but...

my hasty and random blog post.

luaggage packing!!!
noooooooooo. i dont have a nice thick warm jacket ):
hmmm. doing laundry there or not.
if we can do laundry there, why can't we bathe when we're there???
how many sets of clothings to bringgg.
oh noooo. i dont have enough long sleeves!
what phone to bringgg. how to use the phone card there?
i should have asked my mother for the adapter before she left for america -.-
ahhhh.
where to start?!!!


atc planning!!!

the rhythm of it:
start planning... then...
too many having their exams clash... ...
request for a change of date...
got a selection of dates...
propose new dates to instructors...
new date confirmed...
no news for awhile... ...
syf syf syf... ... ...
start planning again!!!
then... exams... pause awhile again...
then planning starts once again!!!
but then, i'm going overseas and will be absent for 2 more weeks... ... ...

hurrhurr.
okok. will do my best. so sorry for making all to wait. i'm gonna do better this time.
FOCUS. DRIVE. DETERMINATION.
YAY :D

i'm going to ignore all distractions.

it a gloomy day.
how to do laundry like that =/

hmmm.

exams are over. finally.

but i'm feeling another kind of stress now.
my holidays are going to be packed again.
week 1: atc preparations + overseas community service preparations
week 2: community service at shanxi, china
week 3: community service at shanxi, china
week 4: npap trainer selection, atc preparations

going camp resilience for kayaking later in the morning.
oops. not much sleep tonight i guess.

hmmm.

i have to reflect more.
i have to buck up.
i'm not doing enough lately.
where's my drive and focus.
i dont wanna disappoint anyone anymore.
i've been neglecting so many aspects of my life.
i'm gonna pick up the slack now.

so pressed for time.



i'm guilty.
for taking so many things for granted.
i'm sorry.

life undergoing restructuring-
i'll do better. i'll do my best.

dear blog,
right at this moment,
please allow me to spam you with random thoughts.

Thought #1:
normally, when i see a good looking person, i would say she's pretty;
it's what i see inside one's heart in which i would then say: beautiful.

Thought #2:
my pillars of strength. where are they.
it's no wonder i break down and fall apart all too often these days.
they are like the glue that hold me altogether.

Thought #3:
accounts paper - started to study from 2300 to 0430. then from 0645 till the end of paper at 1112.
it's like 10 hours of brain cells slaughter.
and although i'm feeling the effects of last minute studying,
(the fatigue, the disappointment and sense of hopelessness when i realised i had overestimated the time i thought i had to complete the syallabus- in other words, i did not finish studying what was required of us to)
i. just. can't. sleep.

Thought #4:
i need new songs pretty badly.

Thought #5:
looking back at the past,
some memories made me smile,
and some made me cringe.

Thought #6:
Are things going too fast that we're missing something along the way?
Are we focusing too much on what's at the finishing line that we have missed the small tiny details during the journey?

Thought #7:
*likes* carmen's tumblr.

Thought #8:
A random old Facebook Status: -
"The list of Things To Do doesnt seem to stop growing longer. Yet, I live in self denial thinking this YOG break is more than enough time to complete it. Shoo, Procrastination. Come, Motivation."
which looks like it's not only going to be applicable at that period, but until i decide to do something about it.

Thought #9:
Is about Thought #2.

Thought #10:
I miss them.
I hope they are doing fine, be it in poly, university, working, be it local or overseas.

Thought #11:
Fatigue is getting to me.
Thank you blog for letting me 'pen' down my thoughts.
Thank you surviving readers for being so patient with me.

Goodnight.

Hi,

i'm bored.
it's almost the end of the semester.
just 2 more papers and we'll be wrapping up our 3rd Semester in Poly.
i realised i have been absent from this blog for one whole term.
and i wonder who would still come here expecting me to have updated it.
i wouldnt be surprised if most have given up checking up on it.

oh wells.
this exam is long and draggy.
who says having a cramped-up exam schedule is bad?
a prolonged exam period is torturous when all you want to do is to hurry get it done and over with.
but apparently, it's not possible when the school has spreaded all the papers across the 3 weeks.
tsk, jolene jolene, why are you so complainy.
previously, the blog post was with regards to Mid-Sem Test. 6 papers in 1 week
now this post about 6 modules in 3 weeks-
the papers are pretty far apart from each other that i am actually experiencing holiday mood already.
seeing most of my friends having already completed their exams makes me so very jealous.
i'm already slacking despite only having completed 4 modules.
then again, i have been rather slack this whole semester.

YOG Study break was pretty meaningless to me.
too far away from exams to be studying hard,
too guilty to be playing too hard.
neither here nor there.

hm.
cant wait to get to the finishing line of this diploma journey.
sadly, i'm only, almost, halfway there.



superficial?
befriending someone for some motive?
hypocritical?
do non-judgemental friends exist?

dont pretend.

sunday, monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, SATURDAY.
seven consecutive days.
you can find me at singapore indoor stadium.

SYF Opening Ceremony 2010

nervous T_T