in this video,
which character best describes you? who would you think of?
and i wonder to myself...

"be a better human in life"
that's what someone would always say.
and that someone really made a difference in my life.
i'm really thankful to have met such persons.
i've learnt a lot, seen things in another perspective,
gotten opportunities to grow.
all these, i will carry with me throughout my life.

on a side note,
as our course of 3 years is coming to an end,
so much uncertainties in life have begun to surface...
and the question is, where would i able to go from here?



and i know i said it was fine,
but i can't help but feel the hurt as i witness it happening right before me.

i'm going to work hard, study hard.
i will. i will. i will.
i'm not going to be lazy anymore.
just for the next 4 months i will.
determination please come back.
do not let anything else affect you jolene.
i can do this!!!

on a side note, it's been a while since i've gone back to sjc for npcc.
feeling a bit uncertain when i go back next week...

lots of thoughts to process.
oh wells.

last semester in SP.
nothing much so far.

uh, i lost my phone again.
too lazy to go find my old SIM card to recover some of my contacts.

want some peace.
the holidays just ended but didn't get some rest time for self.
working was fun but didn't get to recharge myself for the final sprint in SP.
now feeling so lazy to start a new semester.
need time to rivitalise.
can't wait to finish fyp report. due in less than a month's time.


hmmm.
gotta find the courage to go through this life we have. no one is to be blamed. but to tell you the truth, it is starting to affect me badly. still, i don't want to give up, i don't want to let go. i need to be brave and face this, no matter how much it hurts. i know this is worth fighting for.
till i blog again.

everything just doesn't feel right.
jolene, what's the matter with you.
why are you feeling like this.
why are you acting like a child.
why have you stopped making sense as you speak.
why, jolene, why have you become like this.
so many issues that needs confronting about,
but why does it seem like you have lost your ability to express the things that need to be addressed.
but i did try.
things just don't come out right.
something's just not right with me.
i'm not like how i was before.
i don't recognise this person at all.
i can't understand what's going on in this mind.
could this be a part of growing up?
a new environmnet, a change in attitude, a change in life?



a song that i stumbled across coincidently today.

i just can't seem to study this module!
everything seems so foreign!
it feels as though i've never attended any of the lectures because i'm having such a hard time trying to understand the contents!
oh wells, i guess i only have myself to blame for not paying attention in class this semester.
come to think of it,
i can't seem to recall what i've been doing in lessons for the past few months!
hahaha.
oh wells. i really love nights at the airport.
chilling here alone with a drink and awesome music on my laptop.
and thus, i shall go back to my attempts to studyyyy. zZz...


hello you.
do you know how scared i am?
i just don't want this to end.
but i seriously don't know how this will turn out.
i'm just cherishing every moment of this.