ah what the heck.

who am i kidding with.
achievements, status, looks etc all don't matter,
because when you truly love someone,
your heart wouldn't see any of these.

it's true indeed that no matter how good you are,
there will always be people better than you.
but these people who are better than you will not make a difference,
when all you could see is the person you've given your heart to.


do you know that i'm still holding on to our words.
fcking foolish.
to be holding on to words that you have long forgotten.
jolene, you're an idiot. stupid.


i know i'm not good enough.
no matter how many times people would convince me otherwise,
telling me things like i deserve better,
the truth is,
loving someone should not be about whether or not we deserve each other.
i really am done trying to find an explanation.
i am finally just going to accept the fact that i lost you. because you have found someone better.
it has not been easy to let this sink in.
i already have my closure to this.
but why are all these thoughts still lingering in my head?
not now, not when my paper's in less than 12 hours' time.
i must accept this, really put this down, and walk away.
move on.
i really must do this now.

note to self: you're not coming back.