i hate the way i've been feeling lately.
i am frustrated.
spending countless nights straightening out these thoughts.
but no matter what i keep telling myself,
it just keeps going back to square one.
i feel as though i am lying to myself.
i really hate being this way.
and then i realise,
it's because i was never good enough for anyone.
to know what's right and what's wrong,
and to do the right thing after figuring that out,
can be something incredibly difficult to follow through.

recently, i've been spewing a whole lot of vulgarities.
using expletives that i once disapprove of others doing.
i've changed.

what the hell is wrong with me.

i miss my bestfriend.