perhaps people don't realise it - we are humans too.
perhaps people don't realise it - we make mistakes too.
it's as though people expect us to be all that different with this responsibility we bear.
like as if super powers have bestowed upon us, and given us strength to handle impossibilities.
we do feel the same way everyone else feels, too.
we can feel tired and burnt out too.
yet, we are not allowed to show it, not even the slightest expression of it.
we are at the mercy of everyone's scrutiny.

all the time, i've been wondering if anyone had noticed i'd want none of this.
yes, i signed up for it.
but, all i yearn for is a simple life now.
perhaps i should have stuck to my stand, and said no.
so, does this mean i regret these decisions?
it doesn't matter what the answer is,
i just want it to be over.

"... when and how do you point out mistakes, misconduct? One principle can surely guide us here: don't blame for the sake of blaming, make what you have to say accomplish something; say it in that form, at that time, under those circumstances, which will make it a real education..."

mugging randomly with a known fact that i can't finish all topics.

it's been a while since i've blogged.

so, time management is the word of the year for me.

there's so much to look after now.

a bit too much on my plate at the moment, but who am i to complain.

amongst the thousand and one thing on my mind right now,

what i would think that's worth saying would be how much i miss emo clique.

if i'm given a year's break from uni life,

i would very much like to spend time with them.

on a side note,

amidst the crazy stuff going on here,

there's a thing i've learnt in this world, 

and that would be not to just trust anyone that comes along in your life.

the 3 months holiday is almost over.

but doesn't feel as much as a holiday than to a period of failures and frustration.
have been waking up in anxiety.
like a long list of worries waiting to carry on haunting me at my waking moments.
but i guess that's just me, a person who has difficulty keeping calm,
letting emotions get ahead.
but lately, just feel like dropping everything, not having to care about things.
things that seem to be beyond our control.

year 2 is about to start.
and already, feeling all burnt out.

what ifs. should haves.
let's suffocate in silence.

on repeat.

nice lyrics.

沒有圓周的鐘 失去旋轉意義
下雨這天 好安靜
遠行沒有目的
距離不是問題
不愛了 是你的謎底 

我佔據 格林威治 守候著你
在時間 標準起點 回憶過去
你卻在 永夜了的 極地旅行
等愛在 失溫後 漸漸死去 

喔 「對不起」 這句話 打亂了時區
喔 你要我 在最愛的時候 睡去
我越想越清醒 

喔 愛你沒差 那一點時差 喔～
你離開這一拳給的 太重
我的心找不到 換日線 它在哪
我只能不停的飛
直到我將你挽回 

愛你不怕 那一點時差 喔～
就讓我靜靜一個人 出發
你的心總有個 經緯度 會留下
我會回到你世界
跨越愛的時差


 too tired and numbed to fight this.

i'm exhausted.

i feel like fading out,
perhaps what i've always suspected had been right all this time,
that i'm not paranoid whenever i feel that my presence is nothing but a nuisance.

perhaps the reason for me feeling nostalgic this holidays, like
having the urge to dig out my gameboy to play pokemon yellow,
or watching old favourite shows of the distant past,
or drifting out in the midst of something to relive the best years of our lives in my head,
was because i'm missing this simplicity of life back then.
even the simplest of things now could remind me of such bittersweet memories.
i wonder if the rest have long moved on and left these memories behind.

let's hide away in a place, far from the crowd,
where no one else can find us,
where we can be ourselves because there's no need to care about any particular 'image' we have to uphold,
or expectations to meet,
where people won't judge you for who you are,
knowing that no matter how crazy we may be at times,
or how annoyimg we may be,
we still love each other.

genuine friendships.
just can't explain the happiness found with them around,
all i know i believe that the smiles and tears have been true.