i just don't have the answer for you.
when you are actually sincere in asking me what's wrong, i'll tell you.
but saying things like that is how you really wish to show how much i mean to you,
then you shouldn't be bothered asking.
i'm not worthy to be a friend to care about.
i know now so i'm just going to leave so that i wouldnt be a burden to any of you.
i promise i won't be an irritant to you all.
i'm sorry things had turned out this way.

i'm not good.
and i'll accept everything that you have said about me.
perhaps it's true, i'm that horrible monster you have described me to be.
it's a great wake up call, honestly.

i know this post may potentially make things worse,
so i'll understand if you decide to hate me after all these.



everything just seems to be firing at me at all sides.
i can't take it.
i've got to let it out somewhere.
there's really a list of things that's bothering me.
i just needed to say it here, the most hurtful one of all.
i know not many would read here anyway.
and after this, i'm not going to talk about it much anymore.
i shall put this matter to rest.
there's no point explaining myself.
cause the rest of it shall not matter.



-------------------------------------------------------
to my loved ones,

i sincerely apologise for letting you down.
i'm truly sorry for hurting you.
i really don't know what to do.
just give me some more time to make it up to you.
i know you are disappointed at me, but i'm not giving up on our friendship.
i wont, because people like you deserve to be cherished for a lifetime.
although many times i feel as though i'm undeserving of such great people, i'm still thankful for having them in my life.
really truly grateful.



sigh.


i just wish for the earth to stop spinning.
i just wish for time to stop.




so close,
it's a shame i'd let all that i've once held so tight slip away at this near end point.
my goals, my dreams, my second chance.