i'm extremely vexed about this particular line of issues.
it's really pressurizing.
like what someone told me right from the start, when you take this up,
you'll need to learn how to strike a balance with school, work, cca and a life.

yes, life.
i haven't gotten to hang out with my friends as much.
i'm not blaming work, really, cause i do love what i do there.
it's just that i've been the one missing in action for many occasions lately;
that i've been that one person who is. just. not. there.

i miss the people i've spent one of the best years of my life with.
although they have all been so understanding, i feel like i've let them down terribly.
i miss emo clique.
i miss my squadmates and juniors.
the simple joys we share.
i really hope my next holidays would give me more time to meet up.

but in order for holidays to come, i must get through the 5th semester's exams,
which is a really important exam as it is partially my final sprint.
and the thing is, i'm not ready for it at all.

and i haven't even gotten to spend time with both sides of the family.
cause i'd either be sleeping, working or rushing my tutorials when they are home,
or they'd be sleeping when i'm awake and free.

sigh.
i feel so tired that i can't even find the right words to describe how i'm feeling lately.



if only you knew how this feels.
but this time, i know, you wouldn't know.