"the thing about addiction is, it never ends well. because eventually, whatever it is that was getting us high, stops feeling good and starts to hurt."

- grey's anatomy season 4 (episode 2)


. was like a drug to me, i was addicted, hooked, dependent to it.
and now, i'm going through the withdrawls that comes with its disappearance in my life.
it seems almost too hard for me to get by to the end of each passing day.
i can't do my work. and i know it's due very soon.
i can't eat my meals without having difficulties in swallowing every bite.
and i know that my body needs the food, but i just cant find the appetite to eat any more than a few mouthfuls.
i can't sleep without waking up in the middle of the night to check if things have changed overnight, with the hope that you have changed your mind, or that this has all just been a bad dream.
and i know that i need my rest, but i just can't seem to fall back into sleep once i wake up. because the emptiness is so overwhelming, i just can't seem to calm down my panicked heart.
but here i am, exhausted, at the end of the week.
nevertheless, i survived.
without this addiction of . , i know my life is going to be so, so, so much more healthier, as soon as i get over all these withdrawl symptoms.
i just have to believe that's how it's going to be.

it's just unbelievably painful, you know?
never thought i would experience this.

dont worry, i'm just using a metaphor. i'm not referring to a real drug or glue-sniffing or whatever.


i'm getting better now.
i just need to be patient. cause time will heal this.
(: